Shell Jokes

Post your groan-inducing shell jokes here. :)

I'll start:

mkdir hammerTime
chmod 500 hammerTime
cd hammerTime
touch this

wine (at) /home/till_you_get_drunk

Sex: { look; find; talk; grep; touch; finger; find; flex; unzip; mount; workbone; fsck; yes; gasp; fsck; yes; eject; umount; makeclean; zip; split; done; exit }

gasp?

in Free or PC BSD type make love...you get not war as an asnwer

Trail said: gasp?

Gasp is an assembly preprocessor... http://nixdoc.net/man-pages/Linux/gasp.1.html

From a windows command prompt:

C:\>windows
'windows' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

On a linux prompt:

$ whatis
Whatis what?

$ whatis politics
politics: nothing appropriate.

**the above works for anything that is not a man page. Speaking of man pages,...

$ man woman
No manual entry for woman

Didn't get this next one to display verbatim in bash, but:

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

Remember to never remove apt, or you might get this if you run apt-get:

The program apt-get is currently not installed. You can install it by typing apt-get install apt

$ cat "can of food"
cat: cannot open can of food

$ make dead
make: *** No rule to make target `dead'. Stop.

That last one actually killed the facebook thread I started on this subject - hopefully it doesn't do that here. :)

jenkinbr said:

[...] That last one actually killed the facebook thread I started on this subject - hopefully it doesn't do that here. :)

darn - this thread looks pretty dead :(

I just now found this thread. sadly i can't think of any jokes to go in here yet but I did enjoy the ones posted so far :) whoknows maybe this will bump it

sudo apt-get more jokes sudo make coffee

PCLinuxGuy said: sudo make coffeeThis is actually being used by a company that produces coffee machines run entirely on free software

Think it was on a recent TLLTS show

never knew that they used that command, but have heard of the machine itself. I also heard of an all electric moto gp bike that runs linux and can be tuned from the pit via wireless while the bike is on the track

PCLinuxGuy said: never knew that they used that command, but have heard of the machine itself. I also heard of an all electric moto gp bike that runs linux and can be tuned from the pit via wireless while the bike is on the track

i know i know this is old... but hell what an idea - moto linux! epic! as for the obvi..

sudo apt-get Beer <WHERE> "temp" = "COLD"

some guy who works for RIM:

sudo apt-get --purge remove blackberry-internet-service

oops.....

user@computer:~$ whatis Microsoft
Microsoft: nothing appropriate.
user@computer:~$ 

user@computer:~$ whatis Windows
user@computer:~$ Windows: an operating system which is slow, unstable, and insecure.
user@computer:~$

user@computer:~$search;search;find;look;talk;look;pick;return;cat;meow