If you use update-manager it's going to do more to try to insure the end result ends up with the software installed that would have been installed if you had done a new install instead of an upgrade.
If you edit the sources.list yourself and use Synaptic, apt-get, aptitude, etc... you have more control, but you might not get some of the stuff that might have been installed by update-manager.
For me personally, if I edit the sources.list myself, then use Synaptic, my upgrade process would typically be a 3 step process assuming sources have already be changed and package list already updated.
Step 1
Select individual packages then depending on what it indicates will be newly installed or removed choose to proceed or to cancel and select something else.
Step 2
Once I have some of the low hanging fruit and it starts to become more difficult to find packages that don't pull in a bunch of new stuff or cause a bunch of stuff to be removed then I make sure Synaptic is set to do a 'default upgrade' ('Settings --> preferences --> general --> System Upgrade:'), then click on 'Mark All Upgrades'.
Step 3
On the 'settings --> preferences --> general' tab, deselect the option to treat recommends as dependencies and switch the 'Upgrade Type:'to 'Smart upgrade', then try installing different combinations of stuff, to try to figure out what will make the least drastic changes, comparing what it says will happen occasionally with what it says will happen when I click on 'mark all upgrades'.
If you want to do it in the least amount of steps, in Synaptic, you could do two steps.
Step 1
Go to the 'settings --> preferences --> general' tab, make sure the option to treat recommends as dependencies is unchecked and change the 'Upgrade Type:' to 'default upgrade', then click on 'select all packages' and apply the changes.
Step 2
Go to the 'settings --> preferences --> general' tab and change the 'Upgrade Type:'to 'Smart upgrade', click on 'select all packages', then apply the changes.
The command line equivalent to the 2 step process would be:
sudo apt-get --no-install-recommends upgrade
sudo apt-get --no-install-recommends dist-upgrade
Later, Seeker