sloggerkhan said: To them, the Software seems prety much the same, and the performance, look, customizibility are nice. As long as someone is there to install it, things work out fine.
This may be a short-term solution but in the long run you are screwing your friends by doing this. Something I've seen all too often is men "helping" a female colleague or friend who has an IT problem. They are very nice, very polite, take lots of time over it ... *and they do everything themselves*.
Sometimes you can see these guys walking away afterwards with that glow that comes from knowing there is someone who really, really needs you. A bit like mums who always insist on washing their sons' shirts or cooking their dinner. I don't believe there's any deliberate patronising effort here. There's a nice warm feeling all round and why not go for it? But ultimately it holds people back and makes them dependent.
Mimsy said: A girl is someone who, regardless of how old she is, would never even try to learn how to maintain her computer, she prefers to ask for help. Women learn, so they can fix things the next time they break.
One of the problems everyone faces in their lives is a psychological phenomenon known as "learned helplessness". At heart it is our ability to *learn to be unable to learn*. For example, you're in a maths class and stuck on a problem. You can't solve it, but you want to show you're trying, so you screw up your face and try to look like you're thinking really hard and ...
... and the teacher notices and comes over and gives you lots of help, maybe even writing out the answer for you, step by step, and at the end of the class maybe you still did badly but the teacher will praise you for *trying*. Wahey! You've found a solution, and it will probably still keep working all through school, and it's much simpler than actually solving the problems yourself. You'll get crap grades and people will think you less able but they will praise your effort. Meanwhile you will grow more and more convinced that really you can't do this stuff (because you get crap grades, you always need help, etc. etc.), and all your interactions will reinforce that.
To undo this it's not enough to teach you how to do the thing yourself, we have to get rid of the helplessness that you learned, that feeling that makes every setback, every incorrect answer, a reinforcement of the original feeling. In many ways it's like undoing a phobia. Your learning environment has to be especially cushioned to help you avoid the source of fear. If not, learning or training can even be a *negative* experience that makes you worse. Something like this: ](*,)
So when dealing with someone---anyone---who wants their computer or OS to "just work" and not have to worry about technical details, especially someone who wants you to just solve the problem for them, this is worth bearing in mind. People who "can't be bothered" actually are often scared. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way. The best thing you can do is to help people see "problems" as fun. "Hey! My computer broke! Maybe I found a new bug and I can help improve Ubuntu!" for example. :KS
This is why Free Software is so brilliant, because you can see the positive results of your problem-solving so clearly. Seeing that bug you filed appear in the public bug-tracker and seeing the solution appear. Seeing that patch you submitted make its way into the upstream and benefit the community. Seeing that feature request turn into a reality. Seeing the feature *that you wrote* become a reality. Isn't life grand? Free Software is one of the key parts in the solution of learned helplessness in computers.
sloggerkhan said: The only mistake I've made so far is that on one girl's comp, I installed xubuntu because she didn't have too much RAM even though her processor was about 1.1 ghz. She likes it, but she's set all the visual settings so that it looks more hideous than windows! If I'd installed gnome Ubuntu, she wouldn't have the option to make it look as bad as she has! Anyhow, every time I tell her she should make it prettier I get a lecture about how she only uses it for writing emails and papers and that if she's happy with it, it shouldn't be my problem.
Quite right too. You should encourage your friends to pursue their own ideas and needs, not yours. :)